Anger is a scary emotion for many people. I find that many people don’t really know what to do with feelings of anger. Anger can be repressed which often creates a build-up and manifests in rage. Anger can be turned inward which leads to depression. Anger can also be held onto which becomes resentment. I heard a definition of anger as simply “not getting what we want”. If accurate it behooves us to learn how to cope with this common feeling.
Many of us learned much of what we know about anger in our family of origin. Anger is not typically discussed in families and children infer meaning based on social cues. A problem with this is children have developing brains and egocentric tendencies. Often times this leads to an interpretation of meaning which is inaccurate or “distorted”. Over time these cognitive distortions become internalized and manifest as assumptions in present encounters of similar context.
In order to change these patterns it is necessary to develop an understanding of our “programing” and identify the anger distortions with which we engage. Blaming, catastrophizing, inflammatory global labeling, misattribution, overgeneralization and demanding are common thinking errors related to anger. It takes mindfulness and practice to learn how to effectively identify and begin disputing anger distortions. Many of our anger patterns have developed over years and will not change overnight.
In addition to the mental aspects of anger there are physiological changes which take place in the body during anger. Anger does not take place in the part of the brain associated with reason (prefrontal cortex), but in the emotional center (limbic) of the brain. The Amygdala releases a flood of hormones in the body during an anger episode. This “fight or flight” response prepares the body to meet perceived threats. Because of this, learning relaxation techniques is integral to anger management.
Temet Nosce Counseling provides a holistic approach to anger management which includes mindfulness, relaxation, identification and reframing. Our 8 week series will provide you with tools to learn how to control your anger rather than letting it control you.